More on spiritual awakening
Written by Michaela Torcaso
This article stands on it’s own but also builds on the article, “Spiritual awakening.” Anything represented here is for the purpose of supporting the individual process of spiritual awakening. None of it is to be misconstrued as absolute truth.
Q. Sometimes it seems as if all the progress I’ve made on my path to spiritual awakening is gone, and I’m right back where I started. Is this normal?
A. This is actually a very common perception when people are working towards this life-changing experience. It can seem as if you are stuck behind a cloud with no sun shining through the window. However, it is useful to notice that “feelings” do not necessarily represent the truth. If using the analogy of a dirty window, it could be said that as you recognize the illusions of your ego represented as the dirt on the window, you can then see clearly through these panes of glass. People often become accustomed to this clarity of sight and then are shocked to encounter a dirty portion of the window. At these times, you may feel as if you have always been “stuck” and that there is no hope. However, nothing has been lost, and you may even find that you’re grateful for the recognition of newly discovered illusions.
Q. What is the ego, and how do I deal with it?
A. The “ego™” can be understood in a plethora of ways; most often it is associated with a negative connotation. Some philosophies consider the possibility that the ego is actually a temporary illusion, useful only until you are in full remembrance of your “self” (“Truth” of who you are). The following definition is based on this philosophy.
ego™: Inflexible identity (self-perception) encompassing fixed patterns of behavior or attitudes (sub-personalities). Produces automatic reaction rather than free response. Closely connected with F.E.A.R.™ (False Evidence Appearing Real).
It is common to default to judgment of self as you encounter your various ego patterns. In addition, you may default to the belief that what you are witnessing is your true self. Dealing with “it” (the ego) by loving yourself through this process of awakening automatically returns you to the center of self (“Truth” of who you are). The question is: How do you have an authentic experience of loving yourself when you are seemingly lost in self-judgment? A vital first step is to experience your “Observer™”.
Observer™: The eye/I at the center of self — the “Truth” of who you are — that which witnesses, that which recognizes your sub-personalities in action and reminds you of the space that exists between your misperceptions and the “Truth” of who you are. As you continue to observe with gratitude and appreciation, rather than judgment and ridicule, you automatically experience loving yourself.
Q. Does it always have to be so hard?
A. You awaken as you perceive necessary. The ego is committed to survival, in order to provide justification for its existence. As you remember the illusive nature of the ego, you find peace in the process of awakening. When you believe the “misperceptions™” about yourself, you experience suffering.
misperceptions™: Disempowering generalizations formed to protect the ego from further shock. Misperceptions are thoughts like: I can’t, they won’t, you always, we never. Anything other than the experience of freedom and peace is a misperception. (This last statement is an article of faith rather than a proven conclusion. Once you begin living as if it were true, confirming experiences begin to accumulate.)
Again, the difficulty associated with spiritual awakening is individual, neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. It is useful to revel in the glory of the process.
Michaela Torcaso has been a facilitator of personal transformation since the late ‘70s and group transformation since 1996. She owns whitedoor, llc and TIBIA, Inc., and is also the founder of Creating a Peaceful World, Inc. (CAPW).